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Here they are . . .

. . . as promised, you've asked them and Chubby has answered them !!!

Here at ChubbysWorld we asked you to send in your questions that you always wanted to ask the great man himself. Chubby, despite his very busy schedule has put himself in the hot seat and answered your questions. This interview was later repeated in one of Chubbys tour brochures.

After being sent hundreds of questions we eventually selected those show below. We started off asking a few general questions that many people ask about Chubby before asking the ones that you wanted to put. It was a difficult decision, deciding which ones, but we couldn't ask them all . . .

The questions . . .

Name?
Royston Vasey
Place of birth?
Grangetown, Cleveland.
What was your first job?
I wanted to be a cartoonist but it was as a gofer on a bread van.
When was your first public performance?
I suppose as a comic the few gags I told when we had a power cut at Haverton Hill working mens club. but I was a drummer then.
What were your previous acts?
Pipeline '64, Fourman band '69, Alcock and Brown '70 then Chubby.
What is your favourite gag?
Egbert the sperm.
What's the best thing about being on tour?
No bills in the morning.
The worst thing about being on tour?
Living out of a case and not having your own kitchen.
Your favourite food?
Fish and chips and seconds.
Your Favourite drink?
Whisky (Red Label) and Coke, no ice.
And your favourite item of clothing?
As Chubby the helmet, as Roy Vasey fuck knows, but I do have a penchant for hats.
What newspapers do you buy?
Them all every day. I go through them looking for ideas for gags.
Tell us the last book you read?
Losing my virginity by Richard Branson. He is a clever fucker.
What is your favourite one liner?
Go take your face for a shit.
What's your secret ambition?
It wouldn't be a secret would it?
Will your kids do the same job as you do?
No! they could mind they are both funny. But they made their choice in life already and good luck to them.
What car do you drive?
I have a few. I use a Chrysler people carrier to tour in, I have a Mercedes 600SL for home and for a sunny Sunday or a special occasion I have cream Bentley. I fucking love that car.
When are you going to do a North American tour including Canada?
Fuck knows mate, I would love to maybe after 2000.
Are you shit scared of flying?
Yes 100%. I just put my head between my legs and kiss my bollocks goodbye!
Your favourite football team?
Come on you Boro'. I've supported Boro' since I was a kid and still go to as many home games as possible. I still sit in the stand and have a laugh with my sons and the lads.
Where is your favourite holiday resort?
Ooh hard one. I go to Tenerife all the time it is so handy and hot. But I'd have to say Las Vegas is my favourite. All the shows and lights it's just like Blackpool!
What are your hobbies?Lisa Hancock
I've just taken up golf but I'm still a fair weather player. Football I play with the crew as often as I can. Mainly comedy, I love to study other people and spend time in funny peoples company. Funny things happen to funny people is my motto.
How did you learn to be quick off the mark with a reply?Paul
Years of practice basically. It then eventually becomes second nature but you have to put the time in first.
Where did you learn to dance or is it natural rhythm?Darren Brandon
I have a feeling you are taking the piss here. Do I look like I've had dancing lessons. It must just be natural rhythm.
Where do you get your ideas for jokes from?Claire McNamara / Michael Bowman
Every day life. People say that only alternative comedy is observational comedy. I say bollocks.
What's it like to be rich?W Kidd
Fuck knows I don't get much time to enjoy it. I'm on the road all the time. The beauty is I don't have to worry about my bills, apart from that it hasn't changed my life that much. I know many people who have more holidays than I do.
Will you be my best man?Richard Ramsay
Yeah, if you don't want the wife to ever talk to you again!
Do you swear a lot outside of work?Andrew Hanson
I suppose I do but I wouldn't have said much more than the average bloke. There is a time and a place for it I say.
Who are your favourite comedians?Nigel Ramsay
Ken Dodd, Bob Monkhouse, Robin williams, Billy Connolly the list is endless. I think anybody who firstly has the bottle to get up on stage and tell a gag that does make people laugh is worthy of respect.
Why haven't we seen a Chubby exercise video?Tony C
Good idea, an aerobics 'Chubby Style' video. Daft cunt.
What is your favourite venue?Shane Heads
Tough one. They are all different. The first time I sold out the Palladium was a good night to remember the first time I played a big theatre. I can't really say which one I prefer. I'm glad you didn't ask me which one I hate we'd have been here all day!
Has anything embarrassing happened to you on stage?Shane Heads
Apart from the loss of sound etc. No not really. You have to remember you're asking Chubby Brown here. I can fart into the mike and people love it.
Is there a stage strong enough for you to do a double act with Jo Brand?Graeme
I sincerely doubt it. Not so much the stage but is there an audience strong enough?
What is your best joke about mother in laws?Nicholas Thomas
Not one of mine it would have to be Les Dawson's famous line. "When she used to call round the mice would throw themselves onto the traps!" Fucking brilliant.
What does the wife think when you tell jokes about her?Christopher May
I don't give a fuck we are divorced thank god.
Do you have to alter the act much to fit in with different humour around the world?Mal Johnson
A little but only the choice of words, the Americans didn't understand minge.
If you could be stranded on a desert island with one woman who would it be?Matt Stephens
I wouldn't want to be, imagine that fucking hell, torture!
What's your best and most successful chat up line?Mark Biggs
Fancy a fuck? I don't pull very much.
Would you consider replacing Barry Bethnal on the slim fast ads for the right amount? He too was a fat bastard but wasn't funny.Pooch
Funniest question I've had so far. Can you imagine; Oi fat cunt use Slimfast it's great with chips!
Do you go like a stallion in bed?Mark Swift
More like a fucking donkey mate.
What is it like being an international sex symbol?Annemarie Connell / Sally & Jackie
I think you've sent that question to the wrong site mate!
Where was the shitiest gig you've ever done? and why?Dave Jones
It's got to be one of the clubs in the old days. not because of the audience but because the committee men would says things like "So who told you you were funny then" I'd say "Well me mother likes me", "Well let your mother pay you then". Fucking twats.
Who is your tailor?Michelle Watson
Mr Ed's in Soho. He's a big West Indian I'll tell him you said that.
How do you keep in such great shape?Williams
Fuck off.
Which spice girl WOULDN'T you shag?Daz Browne
Scary. she frightens the fucking life out of me.
Do people recognise you out of costume?Andy Keeling
Yes all the time. it amazes me. I think I look nothing like Chubby in real life.
How is Burt Postlethwait these days?Gavin Burrows
Now there is a long term fan you! he's doing very well but I think he is retired now!
How the hell do you think of all those purvey jokes?Michael Burt
Obviously a question from a splitarse!
How did you come up with your name?Dean Moncaster
I was born with Roy, Brown came from a duo I was in called Alcock and Brown and Chubby well that's not hard.
What's you favourite put down for a heckler?John Chapple
They all are, it's great to shut some fucker up like that.
What is the most pleasurable act a woman has bestowed on Chubby?Adrian
Divorce.
Chubby were you a black lesbian in another life?Tom
I've got fuck all against black lesbians mate. I think every bloke should have one!
What are your three favourite things?Lee Clarke
A full theatre, watching the Boro' win at Wembley! I wouldn't know that one mind, and the slip of paper that says decree absolute!
Seeing as the ban on you at Middlesbrough Town Hall has been lifted are you going to play your home town?Matty Morgan
Who said that? first I've fucking heard mate. Ask the council to release a statement saying that.
Who makes your magnificent suits for you?John Carstairs
All sorts of people over the years. but the best ones are by my friends wife lynn.
What's the best ever rolling around on the floor joke you've ever told?Howard Barker
At the minute the mother in the bathroom gag watch the 'Down Under' video.
Has Chubby any future plans?Neil Simpson
We have loads of ideas buzzing around but right now I'm trying to establish myself in Oz then after that the world!!! Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Given the chance to start over again what would you do with your life and have you ever considered a life in politics?Kevin Atterbury
Exactly the same and boy would I love to be in the house of commons. I'd sort this country out!!!
. . . thanks for all your questions.
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